Taking time for yourself as a caregiver is like the safety advice on an airliner. When the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling in an emergency, put YOUR mask on first, then help those around you. Otherwise, you could pass out and not be of any use to anyone.
It's good advice and the same is true for caregiving. If you don't take good care of yourself, including time off here and there from the responsibilities you carry, you won't be able to give your best to those you love.
Taking care of yourself is a primary obligation to your loved one as well as yourself, because without it, your physical and emotional health can suffer. And then, so will the health of those you care for.
Recently my mother was in the hospital with pneumonia. Weakened by illness and barely functioning from pain medication, she couldn't eat and we all know under-staffed hospitals don't have someone with the time to feed every patient. I was at the hospital, 12 miles from our home, three times a day to feed her and consult with doctors and the nutritionist on what she could have that she liked well enough to attempt to eat. Even after she was able to eat on her own, she didn't like the food. LOL Fortunately, our hospital allows home-cooked food to be brought to the patients under most conditions (ask first!!) and she made it through only losing 4 lbs. Me, I was running back and forth, taking care of our pets, dealing with everyday life, and falling exhausted into bed whenever I could. It was easy to see that I couldn't keep up that schedule for long without a break for myself, so I enlisted the aid of a dear friend, her age, who no longer drives. I dropped our friend at lunch time at the hospital for a visit. I knew she would see to it that mom ate.
Then, I took two hours for myself. A trip to the library. A treat for me is to leisurely stroll through the stacks to find random titles that interest me, instead of rushing in to quickly find titles for research for articles I write, then getting back home. Then a stop at my favorite restaurant for a to-go meal which I took to the local park and ate at a picnic table on the waterfront. I enjoyed watching the people, the gulls, and the children in the playground behind me. I fed my leftovers to the gulls and squirrels. Sitting in the shade, a little breeze was like a quiet summer day. I had a chance to stop, and breathe, and remember there is more to life than the inside of my car and a hospital room.
Maybe you only have time for a sandwich and drink in the back yard. Maybe you can arrange for a relative or friend to come in, or a senior sitter (check with local senior centers for their programs) for a few hours or half a day. Whatever you can manage, take that time for yourself, revisit a place you haven't been for months, or longer. Spend some time at a hobby you haven't done in awhile. Go to a bookstore or coffee shop and read a newspaper of book with no interruptions.
Whatever gives you pleasure, find the time. Recharge.
For more help for yourself, join the National Family Caregivers Association. "Self-Care for the Family Caregiver" Their booklets and newsletters are a great source for your emotional and physical health. Web site: www.thefamilycaregiver.org
Take care of yourself.
Until next time, Kathy
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