Caregivers Primer

HOME FOR SALE IN FLORIDA

Florida Living Near Disney World   Reduced   $51,500  

Trade northern winter storms for comfortable Central Florida living in a beautiful, for-sale-by-owner manufactured home in an upscale, gated 55+ retirement community in Kissimmee, FL.  Just 12 miles from Disney World, this community is perfect for year round living, a winter get-away, or a vacation spot to bring the grandchildren to visit the central Florida attractions.

 

This 24’ x 49’ manufactured home (1008 sq’) with cathedral ceilings has ceiling fans throughout and looks brand new.  The master bedroom has its own bath with walk-in shower.  The guest bath has a tub/shower and skylight.  Both bedrooms have display shelves and 9’ closets for plenty of storage.

A sunroom is at the front of the house and opens out to the screen room.  This room can be closed off by sliding glass doors and vertical blinds or left open.  It can be used as a office or even a third bedroom.  Unlike many manufactured homes, this extra room has both heating and air conditioning.

Eat-in Kitchen

The eat-in kitchen has a chandelier and fan, new dishwasher, and side-by-side refrigerator with filtered ice and water in the door.  There are three storage units in the separate dining area for additional storage with display space above for collectables .  These units stay with the home. The dining area also has a chandelier.  The hallway laundry area has a full size, heavy duty washer and heavy duty dryer and three large shelves for storage.

Dining Room

A ground level screen room off the sunroom leads out to the large carport.  The utility shed, 10’6” x 5’, is attached at the back of the carport.  It has a built-in worktable with drawers and shelves on all four walls up to the ceiling.  Behind the utility shed is small patio under the grapefruit tree.  The lot also has a Meyer’s lemon tree, a tangelo tree, large palm tree and a live oak that shades the carport in the afternoon.  The front yard has 5 colors of hibiscus and several roses.  Several new plantings were added November 2009.  The lot also has an automatic sprinkler system. 

Meyer's Lemon tree with flowers for next years crop

The house may be purchased furnished or unfurnished.  Owner is prepared for a fast sale that will allow you to move in 5 business days after purchase.  There is no agent or expensive closing fees.

 

In this community, you purchase only your home and pay a lot rent which includes access to the heated community pool, hot tub, clubhouse and year-round activities from community-wide yard sales to weekly bingo and pool exercises.  Water, sewerage and twice-weekly trash collection are included in this monthly fee.

 

Retirement Community Requirements:

At least one person on the deed must be over 55.  Maximum of 2 pets.  

 

The Area:

Disney World, Universal, Sea World, and dozens of smaller attractions like Arabian Nights, Old Town, Gatorland, and Medieval Times are all within 18 miles, many less than 5 miles.  The community is close enough to Disney World to hear the nightly fireworks. 

New Publix grocery store, shopping center and Home Depot within 3 miles.  The fire station with paramedic unit is 1/2 mile away.  There are 3 hospitals close by with hundreds of associated doctors, specialists, diagnostic and treatment facilities. 

Historic Downtown Kissimmee with its waterfront park is about 6 miles away.

Shopping, dining, and several malls are just minutes away, including two large, name-brand outlet malls.  The Atlantic coast beaches, Inter-coastal Waterway, and the Kennedy Space Center are less than 60 miles,  Tampa/St. Petersburg and the Gulf Coast about 80 miles. 

 

Full time living or escaping from the snow, Kissimmee is a wonderful place to live.

 

For more information, email Kathy at kfrost4@cfl.rr.com   NO SPAM PLEASE 

Caregivers: Protecting Your Loved Ones by Protecting Yourself

Flu season is here. 

As a caregiver, one of your main responsibilities is to keep your loved one safe from colds, flu and pneumonia.  That means keeping yourself healthy, protecting yourself outside the home, screening visitors if necessary, and making sure the diseases related to fall and winter don't get into your home and threaten your elders.  No matter the reason for them to need a caregiver, from physical handicaps to emotional ones, seniors are more fragile than the average person, and more susceptible to disease, respiratory infections and other diseases that hit harder because of their age and condition.

To protect them from getting sick, or care for them if they do become ill, you must take care of yourself first. 

FLU and SWINE FLU Shots

This is especially important if the person you care for is over 65, already in poor health, or has some kind of condition that makes giving them an immunization shot dangerous.  Other people may have religious preferences that prevent them from having a shot. Anyone with diabetes, asthma, lung disease or a history of congestive heart failure is at high risk.   So if your are living with or care for someone who is at high risk, get your flu shot.  NOTE:  In our local hospital, employees who cannot take immunization shots wear masks to prevent them from getting infected or passing something on to others. 

We've all heard information on the Swine Flu on TV news shows but the seasonal flu is just as dangerous.  Did you know:

• more than 200,000 people are hospitalized each year for flu complications
• 20,000 of those are children under 5
• 36,000 people die each year from the flu.

Talk to your doctor about the H1N1 Swine flu and decide if you want to get the Swine Flu vaccine as well.

PNEUMONIA shots

Pneumonia shots are suggested for anyone over 65, anyone with a suppressed immune system, anyone with heart or lung disease, diabetes or HIV.  If you are under 65, one shot will be enough.  If you are over 65, and your first pneumonia shot was more than 5 years ago and you were under 65 at the time, you should get a second shot.

Other Precautions

• Cover your mouth and nose when you sneeze
• Wash your hands often with soap and water or use alcohol-based hand cleaners
• Avoid contact with anyone you believe is sick
• If children want to visit the person you care for, be sure they aren't sick, be sure there are no reported cases of swine flu in their school, and that they wash up before and after the visit. Many hospitals are not allowing children under 16 to visit patients.
• If you do get sick, limit contact with the person you care for. Get another caregiver, if possible. Remember that, for swine flu especially, you are still contagious up to 2 days after the fever stops.
• If you have a home health agency visiting your loved one, check to see that the person coming to the house has had their immunizations. Watch to be sure they wash their hands or use cleaner before and after treating your loved one.
• If you loved one can have immunizations but is home bound, check with your doctor and home health agency to see if the doctor can write an order for the nurse to administer the flu, swine flu, or pneumonia shots as determined by your doctor.
• When you go to a store, check to see if they have dispensers of germicide towelettes to wipe off the handle area of shopping carts or baskets.  If they don't offer this service, ask the customer service desk how you can make the suggestion to management as a courtesy to customers.  If you have to frequent shops, offices, libraries or other buildings where towelettes or hand cleaner is not available, care a small bottle of hand cleaner with you.
• Commercials by Lysol brand disinfectant spray claim that the spray has been proven to kill H1N1 virus.  True or not, it wouldn't hurt to spray clean surfaces around the house, especially kitchen and bathroom, counters, tables, chair arms, walkers and canes, wheelchair controls and hand wheels, bed frames, and remote controls.  And anywhere else your loved one touches or things they use.

Symptoms of Flu

• Fever (usually high)
• Headache
• Extreme tiredness
• Dry cough
• Runny or stuffy nose
• Muscle aches
• Sore throat
• Vomiting
• Sometimes diarrhea

Be safe.  Take more precautions than you think are necessary because the one you ignore could be the very one that causes the illness.  I got my flu and pneumonia shots, because my mother can't have either.  I limit her visitors to those who are well.  And when I take her to the doctor, I make sure to have hand cleaner with me, her own magazines for her to read, and a mask in my purse if someone else in the waiting room is obviously sick.  She's had a long standing respiratory infection and a 10 day hospital stay last winter with pneumonia.  I won't take another chance with her health.

Take care and be well.....

Caregivers - Problem Knees, Feet, Arms, so When Will Mom Walk Again?

Mom and I joke that her warranty ran out when she turned 80.  Up until then she walked miles a day, rode a bike, bowled in two leagues, and taught line dancing.  All while legally blind.

But after a series of illnesses and injuries to her legs, she has spent far too much of the last seven years with a cane, a walker, and her most despised wheelchair.  For the last week, she's been back in the wheelchair. 

After getting both knees replaced at 86 (see other posts here), she was improving until a supposedly minor scratch on her leg turned into cellulitis and MRSA.  Another week long visit to the hospital, most of it in the ICU.  A scratch ignored by the nurses on that stay turned into an infected blister and another 4 months of weekly visits to the Wound Care clinic, including 2 skin graphs. 

She was finally getting past all that when the heel spurs kicked in and, while her "new" knees are working well, she can't take a step without pain.  That made three weekly visits to the foot and ankle doctor for shots, but she was still struggling along, trying to use her walker to get around, despite the pain. 

All that changed, again, about 10 days ago. 

My dog reached up with his paw to beg attention just as she moved.  It was a slight tear in her fragile skin, not more than a half inch, but it broke the integrity of her skin and triggered a reaction in her immune system.  The next morning she woke with severe pain in both forearms.  Of course, this was a Friday and by the time I needed to call someone, all the doctors' offices were closed at noon for the weekend. 

Since she has so much trouble with infections, we had an antibiotic on hand and I started her on them over the weekend.  Monday morning, I called her doctor.  She was in too much pain to try and leave the house for an appointment, so I asked for a home health nurse to come and evaluate her.  We have an agency we've used several times and they were happy to send out a nurse that knew her well.  They are reporting to the doctor and monitoring her condition in case she gets worse or needs to go to the hospital.  It's cellulitis and MRSA, the same combination she had back in April that put her in the ICU for 4 days so we're fortunate that the doctor has let her stay home this long.

She can't crochet because her hands are so swollen.  And she can't work on the christening blanket for her soon-to-be great-grandson (due Valentine's Day), but I'm trying to keep her spirits up and get her through this crisis.  Another day, another problem, but we'll succeed this time too.

Kathy

Caregivers: Times and Things Remembered

Recently someone asked me about the old style wringer washing machines and wanted to know if people were still allowed to set up clotheslines.  He hadn't seen one in years.

This got me thinking about all the memories mom had from years ago, things that were important to her, but rarely mentioned.  I realized that in our busy life, we forget that our elders can be isolated in this future time, in a world that has too much to do to remember the past.  Or what is important to them.

Remembering that, I made the time to talk to her about the past, starting with our old wringer washing machine.  It thrilled her for me to ask...and listen.  It was a wonderful experience for both of us.

Mother's wringer washer stood in the kitchen, near the sink where the hoses could easily reach the faucet and drain.  She was allergic to most soaps and had to wear rubber gloves to do the washing.  The day our first "automatic" washing machine was delivered, she was finishing up her very last load with that old monster of a wringer machine.  Her glove caught in the wringer and dragged her finger in between the rollers.  I remember the screaming, the pain and the blood.  Dad rushed her to the hospital and I was left alone at home, 14, crying and angry.  I kicked a big dent in the side of the machine.  The doctor's did their best with the knowledge they had back then, but to this day (she's 87), that finger does not bend.  She has knitted and crocheted all her life and eventually found her way of doing it with a finger that doesn't bend.

When it came to clotheslines, we had a few memories to share.  Growing up in New Hampshire, with the wild winters and heavy snows, my father had to dig a path out to our clothesline, and the big rectangle under it.  The sheets would whip in the wind, the dampness freezing them solid in minutes.  Sometimes, they would be so stiff they would snap in two in the wind, ripped in half and ruined. 

We hung blue jeans by their waist bands, two clothes pins for the back on one line and then the two sides of the front on another line.  They would eventually freeze solid like the sheets.  Then you brought them in the house and stood them up in the kitchen, upside down.  When they eventually fell to the floor in mom's warm kitchen, we knew they were thawed enough to put away.

During the summers when I was growing up, my friends and I would gather the winter quilts and blankets and hang them on the lines to make a cozy tent.  We'd lay back and read, play checkers by the hour, and hope the three brothers that lived on the other side of our place didn't come sneaking up on us.

I was away at college when mom and dad finally got a real dryer.  The cellar wasn't very deep and dad had to dig down a foot in the sand floor to put down a wooden pallet for it to sit on.  When he was digging, he found an old china pitcher, made in England where my great-grandparents came from, buried in the sand.  We think it was used to bring water to the workers when the house was built in 1904 by my grandfather, and somehow, was accidently buried.  All those years and it survived in perfect condition, pure white and not even chipped.  We sold that house long ago, the family has grown and moved on, but the pitcher is now with my daughter, in a place of honor, and one day it will be passed on to one of mom's three great-grandchildren so the tradition will continue.   

,I thank my friend for bringing up the subject of these old items.  It brought up a lot of memories for me, good and bad.  But it was a most pleasant journey to the past with my mother.  One of many to come, I hope.

My advice is to give a gift of memories to your parents and other loved ones.  Talk to them about the past, where they lived, how they got to school, old friends, even the meals their mothers made during the Depression or during WWII.  If they remember recipes, try to make them.  Food is one of those comforting things that brings back pleasant memories.  Try to bring them those memories and let them know that their lives, past and present, are important.  You might even find that you learn something in the process as well.  <smile>

P.S. If you want to help stimulate conversations, look for the books: Dining During the Depression (The simple-yet-satisfying foods that saw families through those tough years) or Good Housekeeping's Great Home Cooking (300 Traditional Recipes).  Both come with recipes and stories related to the recipes and the times, snippets of life in the past that our elders remember. 

Seniors and Their Pets

Do you have a pet?  Does the senior you care for have a pet?  In most cases, a pet, especially for older adults, is a literal lifesaver. 

Having a pet has been shown to lower blood pressure and provide companionship, but the need for a pet goes beyond that.  A pet is an obligation, it requires time and commitment, but it gives a senior a reason for getting up in the morning.  The care of a pet means:

* getting some exercise every day (whether it's walking a dog or preparing and serving food)
* the need for a regular schedule to feed and care for a pet
* having someone (your pet) to talk to, confide in, without any judgments or censure
* having a living being dependent on you, so you need to see to it's care and health, which means maintaining your own health. 

"Studies have shown that pet companionship actually improves senior citizen health and outlook on life. Lowered blood pressure and a reduction in stress are among the potential benefits of pet ownership. In addition‚ seniors with pets report feeling happier and safer."  (http://www.purinapetsforseniors.com/learnMore.aspx?LI=1)

Pets can give a senior, or anyone living alone, a fuller, richer life.  And programs all over the country help seniors adopt pets, sometimes lowering or even eliminating adoption fess for seniors over 60.   

The Purina Pets for Seniors program helps to cover the cost of adoption fees and provides product information‚ coupons‚ and a pet care booklet.  www.purinapetsforseniors.com

Second Chance for Pets is a California based program matching pets with seniors.  The website has more health facts for people living longer and better if they have a pet, as well as testimonials.    http://www.2ndchance4pets.org/cfs/  

Enter ("Pets for seniors' +yourstatename)in any search engine and you should find programs in your area.  Or check with your local vet or SPCA.  Pet rescue organizations dealing with the type of pet you want can also be valuable, especially when matching the temperament of an older pet with the senior.

PLANNING AHEAD -

Depending on the age of the senior, and the average life expectancy of the type of pet you are looking for, you may need to consider an older pet, perhaps a dog or cat turned over to rescue group.  Or you will need to make arrangements for the pet's care after a senior has passed away.  Will a family member or friend agree to take the animal?  If the pet is from a rescue group (especially parrots) will they accept the pet back to find it a new home?  You may want to add a note to the person's will to specify the future of a beloved pet. 

For dogs, cats, and large parrots, you need to figure in the costs from food and grooming, to toys.  But especially vet care.  A trip to my vet this morning for a check up, one blood test, and some anti-inflammatory pills for my arthritic Australian Shepherd cost $200.  If your senior is on a low fixed income, or as the caregiver, you aren't able to help financially, be sure to look into pet insurance.  Policies that help with regular appointments, immunizations, and a large percentage of emergency care costs are not that expensive.

TYPES OF PETS

Dogs are good for seniors that are still mobile or who would benefit from regular exercise.  Be sure to study the types, habits, care requirements, and final adult size of the dog before you make a decision.

Cats are good if mobility is a problem or the senior needs a pet to cuddly and care for, without the need for daily walks.

Fish are calming and usually require little care after the initial setup.  If the tank is salt water, the care is a bit more involved, but the aquarium dealer can usually guide you to people who will come to the house for setup and maintenance as needed.

Birds are often comical and fun.  Care is moderate with daily feeding, water, treats and weekly cage cleaning.  Small birds, such as finches, are fun to watch and require no human interaction.  Larger birds, such as cockatiels and parakeets, can bond with a person, can learn to talk, but need daily interaction, training, and playtime.  The largest parrots, while playful and talkative, can also be destructive.  They should only be considered in special circumstances.  They need large (expensive) secure cages, heavy duty toys, and a lot of attention.  It's almost like having a 2-year-old in the house.  They need an owner who is experienced with birds and has the energy to keep up with them.  If the attention is suddenly withdrawn, as when the senior is sick or in the hospital, the bird can be destructive or even pick themselves bald in mourning. 

If the senior lives in an apartment, can't walk a dog, or is allergic to cats, try a rabbit.  The larger breeds (such as French and English lops) have larger bodies and brains, in my opinion, more personality).  At 16-20 pounds, they are the size of a large cat or small poodle.  They are friendly, cuddly, will learn to come when called, and while needing a cage when you aren't home, they can easily be litter box trained so they can run around the house when you're home.  And there's no barking to bother the neighbors.  <grin> Just be sure to "Bunny proof" your home, such as having the cords hidden or encased in plastic cord catchers to discourage chewing.  (or spray regularly with Bitter Apple, available at pet stores.)  You can even go to a breeder and pick out a nearly weaned kit that you can finish hand feeding to have it truly bonded to you.  The larger breeds can even be put in harnesses and taken for a walk in the park with the proper cautions.  (I did that regularly with my solid black French Lop named Merlin.  We even visited nursing homes and kindergarten classes.)

Even if the senior you care for is unable to walk a dog or physically care for the feeding of an animal, they can still benefit from a pet.  If you live separate from the person you care for, bring your own pet for a visit, ask a friend to stop by from time to time with their pet, or even contact nursing homes in your area to find out if there are any therapy pet groups nearby that you could schedule once or twice a month.

As a caregiver, you are responsible for the emotional health of your patient, as well as the physical.  Keeping life in old age as close to normal as possible, is always a plus. There are very few disabilities or illnesses in older people that prevent a person from enjoying the companionship of a pet.  It might just be the therapy your senior needs to enjoy their remaining years.

Until next time,

Kathy

Good News for My Mom

As my regular readers know, I care for my mother who will be 87 next month. 

My youngest daughter and her husband came down to visit for 4th of July and brought sonogram pictures to surprise her.  She'll have her third great-grandchild about Valentine's Day, 2010.  (My oldest daughter has two, 13 and 17.) 

We're excited because they have only been married a little over a year and their first pregnancy ended at only 6 weeks.

Wish us luck!

Getting rid of Junk Mail and Telemarketing Calls

This morning a friend asked me how to get rid of junk mail.  In our community, we have a central mailbox location with small boxes.  If you get too much mail, the carrier puts everything in a package locker and leaves you a key.  With all the multi-page flyers and ads, it only take a couple days to fill our small boxes. 

Getting rid of all that trash sounded like a great idea for today's blog.

Junk Mail

Try one or more of these services and suggestions.  NOTE:  No service can guarantee that your name will be removed from ALL lists, so be if you get repeated mailings from a particular source, contact them directly.

BULK MAILING SERVICES

"National Do Not Mail List"   Free online registration.  https://www.directmail.com/directory/mail_preference/

This service cost $1.00 for 5 years.  You can register online or by regular mail. Mail Preference Service  
--------------

CATALOG MAILINGS  Abacus is a central service mailing service for mostly catalog and publishing companies.  If you have ordered from a catalog, your name was probably given to them.  To have your information removed from Abacus, contact them with your name (including any middle initial), current address, and previous address if you moved recently. Abacus can be reached either via e-mail (optout@abacus-us.com) or by mail: Abacus, Inc., PO Box 1478, Broomfield CO 80038.  If you continue to receive catalogs you didn't order, call the customer service number listed in the catalog and asked to be removed from their list.
---------------------

The Privacy Rights Clearinghouse site has a fact sheet on Reducing Junk Mail.  
http://www.privacyrights.org/fs/fs4-junk.htm#8a   Be sure to visit this site to see all the suggestions.  This is one entry from that list. 

The elderly and sweepstakes. The Direct Marketing Association provides information to individuals who are attempting to help their elderly relatives and friends to stop receiving mailings for sweepstakes and other kinds of contests. Read more at https://www.ims-dm.com/cgi/dncc.php?__utma=1.333453521.
1198063906.1200322463.1200324903.9&__utmb=
1&__utmc=1&__utmx=-&__utmz=1.1198261617.3. 2.utmcsr
%3DGoogle|utmgclid%3DCKjYtO-es5ACFQGzGgodzFPCKw|
utmccn%3DDo%2BNot%2BMail|utmcmd%3DCPC|utmctr%3Dmail%
2Bpreference%2Bservice&__utmv=-&__utmk=113293320.

A federal law enables individuals to more easily be removed from sweepstakes mailing lists. The Deceptive Mail Prevention and Enforcement Act requires that the mailer provide its name and address on the solicitation. It must also include an address or toll-free number where the recipient or caregiver may request name removal from the company's mailing list. Unfortunately, fraudulent companies often ignore the law. Further, many sweepstakes and lottery mailers are in foreign countries where this law does not apply.
-----------

SWEEPSTAKES To be removed from the mailing list of specific sweepstakes mailers, contact the following:
Publishers Clearinghouse, by phone: (800-645-9242) or by mail: Consumer & Privacy Affairs, Publishers Clearinghouse, 382 Channel Drive, Port Washington NY 11050; or by e-mail: privacychoices@pchmail.com.
And Readers Digest Sweepstakes, phone (800-310-6261) or by mail: Reader's Digest, PO Box 50005, Prescott AZ 86301-5005.
------------

WHEN MOVING  If you move, do not fill out the permanent change of address (COA) form supplied by the post office. Permanent COA information is provided to third parties. Instead, complete the temporary (10 month) form and notify companies and others on your own. Address changes can be done easily by completing the change of address form found on the back of bills.

SEXUALLY ORIENTED MATERIAL  The US Postal Service can also help you get rid of any sexually oriented mailings.  Ask for Form 2150 to stop mail from a particular company, or Form 1500.
-------------

SIGNING UP AND ORDERING SUBSCRIPTIONS  When you sign up for any newsletter, magazine, group online or in writing, be sure to check for the option that you NOT be included on any third party mailing lists and that your information not be sold or shared.  If the entity does not have that option, or does not state in their literature that they do not share customer information, you may want to re-think your decision to participate. 
-------------

FLYERS AND ADVERTISING SUPPLIMENTS can be a little harder to get rid of, but here are the steps you can take.  Flyers are those ads stuffed in with other advertisements and delivered to your mailbox by the handful. Envelopes containing an assortment of ads are another in this category, as are card decks which are a group of post-card sized bundles of advertising on card stock.

The ads are often from local merchants and may be for carpet cleaning, window replacement, restaurants, cheap electronics and any number of other products and services. They are usually addressed to "resident" or "occupant" at your address.

To reduce this kind of junk mail, do the following:

• Look for a mailing label attached directly to the flyer. You may see the name of the distribution company near your mailing address. If you don't find a label, you may find a phone number printed on the edge of the flyer itself.

• Contact the company as indicated below, and request that your address be taken off the mailing list. If you're making a written request, send a copy of your mailing label along with the letter. If you call, chances are you'll have to work through a telephone tree and leave your name and address on an answering machine. It usually takes at least four to eight weeks to be removed. In some cases, the company may have a website that will allow you to remove yourself from their lists.

These are the major "resident" or "occupant" mailers:

• Valassis or Red Plum. You can remove your name and address from Valassis or Red Plum mailings by:
  
  
  • Calling Valassis' Consumer Assistance line toll free at 888-241-6760 (8:30am-5:00pm EST), or
  • Filling out and submitting the form at their website:
    www.advo.com/consumersupport.html

• PennySaver in California and South Florida or The Flyer in West Florida. You can remove your name and address from these mailings two ways:
  
  
  • Call toll free at (800) 422-4116 for California and South Florida or (813) 626-SELL for West Florida
  • Send a letter to:
    
    For California and South Florida:
    Harte-Hanks Shoppers
    Attn: Consumer Preferences
    2830 Orbiter Street
    Brea, CA 92821
    
    For West Florida:
    Circulation
    The Flyer
    201 Kelsey Lane
    Tampa, FL 33619

• Val-Pak Savings Coupons. Val-Pak maintains regional lists, not a central one. Send your request to the address printed on the envelope you receive. If you receive the blue envelope you can also remove your address from their website at: www.coxtarget.com/mailsuppression/s/DisplayMailSuppressionForm

You may have to notify the distribution company more than once to make sure that your address has been removed from the mailing list.

NOTE: Once your name has been removed from the company's mailing list, you are also likely to have to remind your postal carrier not to deliver the advertising flyers.

Telemarketing Phone Calls

The other intrusion most people want to get rid of is those annoying telemarketers.  Removing the bulk of commercial, for-profit calls is much simpler than junk mail.

https://www.donotcall.gov/  This is a government site and you can register your phone number and make complaints if necessary.

Hope this information can make a more clutter-free life for you and your loved ones.

Until next time,

Kathy

A Legal Guide to Caregiving - Book Review

Recently, I received a copy of "You and Your Aging Parents" by The American Bar Association  2009 (Random House).

I'm happy to say this is an excellent source of information for anyone, especially seniors and their caregivers.  Even after six years of caring for my mother and another two with my father in a nursing home and on Medicaid, this book was still a revelation.  Some of the subjects I had already covered in this blog but I still learned a lot.

The book is a "Guide to Legal, Financial & Health Care Issues" 

One of my favorite chapters is "Making the Transition" which offers guidelines on talking to your parents and the when and how you should work your way into being a caregiver.

Other chapters include planning ahead to make sure you know your parents' wishes, money matters, paying for health care, in-home assistance and housing options, protecting your parent from elder abuse, and mental health issues.  

The chapter on Transportation gives examples and suggestions on talking with your parent when you feel it is no longer safe for them to be driving.  (I plan to cover this topic as well in the next week.) 

And maybe most important of all, is "Taking Time for Yourself."  This chapter talks about both emotional and physical tolls from carrying for others and when it is all too much, for both of you, the process of civil commitment.

If you are not in good shape, both mentally and Physically, you won't be able to care for others.  See my page "Caregivers - Pamper Yourself."

I'm giving this book, "You and Your Aging Parents" a big thumbs up.  It's a great resource at any time, but especially useful before it's needed.  Pre-planning can save heartache for both you and the ones you love.

Until next time, take care..... Kathy

Caregivers, Pamper Yourself

Taking time for yourself as a caregiver is like the safety advice on an airliner.  When the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling in an emergency, put YOUR mask on first, then help those around you.  Otherwise, you could pass out and not be of any use to anyone. 

It's good advice and the same is true for caregiving.  If you don't take good care of yourself, including time off here and there from the responsibilities you carry, you won't be able to give your best to those you love.  

Taking care of yourself is a primary obligation to your loved one as well as yourself, because without it, your physical and emotional health can suffer.  And then, so will the health of those you care for. 

Recently my mother was in the hospital with pneumonia.  Weakened by illness and barely functioning from pain medication, she couldn't eat and we all know under-staffed hospitals don't have someone with the time to feed every patient.  I was at the hospital, 12 miles from our home, three times a day to feed her and consult with doctors and the nutritionist on what she could have that she liked well enough to attempt to eat.  Even after she was able to eat on her own, she didn't like the food.  LOL  Fortunately, our hospital allows home-cooked food to be brought to the patients under most conditions (ask first!!) and she made it through only losing 4 lbs.  Me, I was running back and forth, taking care of our pets, dealing with everyday life, and falling exhausted into bed whenever I could.  It was easy to see that I couldn't keep up that schedule for long without a break for myself, so I enlisted the aid of a dear friend, her age, who no longer drives.  I dropped our friend at lunch time at the hospital for a visit. I knew she would see to it that mom ate. 

Then, I took two hours for myself.  A trip to the library.  A treat for me is to leisurely stroll through the stacks to find random titles that interest me, instead of rushing in to quickly find titles for research for articles I write, then getting back home.  Then a stop at my favorite restaurant for a to-go meal which I took to the local park and ate at a picnic table on the waterfront.  I enjoyed watching the people, the gulls, and the children in the playground behind me.  I fed my leftovers to the gulls and squirrels.  Sitting in the shade, a little breeze was like a quiet summer day.  I had a chance to stop, and breathe, and remember there is more to life than the inside of my car and a hospital room. 

Maybe you only have time for a sandwich and drink in the back yard.  Maybe you can arrange for a relative or friend to come in, or a senior sitter (check with local senior centers for their programs) for a few hours or half a day.  Whatever you can manage, take that time for yourself, revisit a place you haven't been for months, or longer.  Spend some time at a hobby you haven't done in awhile.  Go to a bookstore or coffee shop and read a newspaper of book with no interruptions.

Whatever gives you pleasure, find the time.  Recharge.

For more help for yourself, join the National Family Caregivers Association.  "Self-Care for the Family Caregiver"  Their booklets and newsletters are a great source for your emotional and physical health.  Web site:  www.thefamilycaregiver.org

Take care of yourself.

Until next time,   Kathy

Knee Replacement at 86, The Second Knee

Haven't posted in awhile because mom needed me.  Her first knee replacement back in October went well.  So well, that she was trying to do as much as she could with the new left knee and put too much pressure on the right knee.  Her arthritis flared up to the point that she was risking damage to the replacement because she was favoring the arthritic right knee.

(Comment:  If you are getting a knee replacement, talk to your doctor about the recovery process and discuss the condition of both knees.  You might want to consider getting both done at the same time.  We wish we had.)

While the surgery January 27 went well, the rest of the recovery was a disaster.  Mom had taken multi-vitamins and iron tablets in advance because she'd had to have a blood transfusion after the first surgery.  (Note: A large amount of blood lose is common with this type of surgery.)  After this surgery, she needed a transfusion and there was a problem.  Her veins are small and fragile and something went wrong, sending blood into her tissues instead of into the veins and her arm turned black/purple from hand to shoulder. 

She spent 5 days in the hospital instead of 3 and was still tired and worn out when she reached the rehab facility.  She arrived on Sunday and by Thursday, she was feeling bad.  By Sunday, she was really weak and not eating much but no doctors made rounds on the weekend.  No doctor showed up on Monday and Tuesday afternoon, I was furious.  She could barely stay awake and rarely answered questions.  I managed to get her to drink a bit of milkshake but she was very weak.

To back up a little, she was in a double room, by the door.  That meant all her roommate's visitors had to go past her bed.  The roommate had family and friends sitting with her from 6:30 in the morning until she fell asleep at night, in 2 hour shifts.  She didn't need them, she just wanted someone to wait on her all the time.  Who knows what germs all these people brought in.

So Tuesday, I cornered the doctor and told him her condition, he ordered tests STAT at 4:45 PM.  The lab people didn't get there until nearly 9 and we didn't get results until 11. 

Pneumonia and dehydration.  She went to the hospital in an ambulance and I spent all Tuesday night/Wednesday AM in the ER with her.  She wasn't really awake and conscious of her surroundings until Thursday morning.  She was so weak that I had to go to the hospital 3 times a day to feed her until the next Tuesday and continued after she was strong enough to eat on her own to make sure she did. 

(Comment:  If you have to leave rehab like my mother did, be sure your surgeon is notified so physical therapy can be ordered while in the hospital.)

After so many days in been, not exercising as she should have, the knee had a lot of scar tissue and was quite stiff, but the physical therapist helped her a lot and taught her some tricks on how to get up and transfer to the chair next to the bed, and gave me a list of exercises to do in addition to the therapy sessions. 

We decided to go home and not back to rehab for several reasons.  One, when she'd had the first knee done, she developed a continuing cough that lasted for weeks after she got home.  This time, it was pneumonia.  Two, we weren't happy with the frequency or availability of the doctor making rounds.  Since mom wasn't completely over the pneumonia, we just couldn't risk her health by going back to rehab. 

(Comment:  Ask questions about doctor availability and what happens when you or your loved one gets sick when you're looking a rehabs.  Remember that rehabs and nursing homes have a large number of older and ill people, and visitors, in a pretty confined space.  Before you have surgery and go to a rehab, you might want to get flu and pneumonia shots for both the patient and any family members who will be visiting them.)

Our doctors agreed and she came home with an oxygen machine, a hospital bed, and home health.  Her nurse comes twice a week.  The physical therapist comes 3 times (the first week was 5 times).  Back home with my cooking, her favorite foods, and my nagging <grin> for her to eat and drink more, she progressed real fast.  After 12 days at home, she only needs oxygen at night and haven't used the wheelchair for 5 days, just her walker.  She's doing great!

It was hard for us.  I have been having more pain in my spine than normal (I have a degenerative spinal disease, but some is probably from stress).  Running back and forth from the hospital and rehab, taking care of our two dogs at home, and all the other necessities of life, has really been difficult.  I was always exhausted and thought it would be better once she was home.  I hadn't thought ahead to the fact it would be 24 hours a day instead of three times.  But skipping the 6 trips to town and all that gas money was a blessing.  I could only leave the house when I could find a neighbor to come sit with her since we have no family in town.  (By the way, our manufactured home here in Florida is for sale- I'm writing this and listening to the fireworks from Disney World just 12 miles away.  We have to move back to Atlanta near family.  See sidebar) 

I've been too busy and tired to do any writing until the last couple days, but now that she can get around better and is eating more, I am able to find a few moments to myself now and then.  I'm putting together a web site for the sale of our home and getting other things sold or packed to get ready to move.  The pain in my spine varies so I have a few good hours here and there.  We'll manage, though slowly. 

Mom got very depressed in the hospital when she was so sick.  It took a surprise visit from her grandson (he traveled over 400 miles on his Harley-Davidson) to help cheer her up.  Now, she's making progress and feeling better.  We'll get through this together.  One day at a time.